我在幾年前的一email
合肥四姐妹 (Four Sisters of Hofei )
Four Sisters of Hofei: A History By Annping Chin
ScribnerCopyright © 2002 Annping ChinISBN: 0-684-87377-X
Excerpt
The Wedding
When Lu Ying of Yang-chou married Chang Wu-ling of Hofei in 1906, her dowry procession stretched along ten streets, from Ssu-k'ai-lou to Lung-men-hsiang. It had taken Lu Ying's mother ten years to get things ready for this occasion, and when it was all over she died of exhaustion.
一九○六年（清光緒三十二年），揚州人陸英與合肥人張武齡成婚。
A grandmother in the family remembered Lu Ying on her wedding day, particularly the shock of meeting her eyes as her pearl-beaded veil came off. They were phoenix eyes with a phoenix glow, which foretold a life that would quickly be spent. Lu Ying died sixteen years later, after fourteen pregnancies and nine children.
武齡的姨娘記得陸英作新娘的時候，蓋頭一掀、鳳冠下的瓔珞一挑，
In China's pre-republican society, a bride of Lu Ying's stature was something of a mystery. She spent a good part of her wedding day in a sedan chair, her face concealed. She appeared before her guests only toward the end of the ceremony, when she left the ancestral hall, in which she had paid obeisance to her husband's forebears, and was led to her nuptial chamber. Even then she remained demure and seemed reluctant to part with her maiden life and with her own family. Unlike modern brides who wave to their guests and smile for the camera, a bride in the old society seemed always on the verge of tears. She leaned on her escorts for support as she made her way deliberately into the nuptial room. Since it was not customary for the bride's side of the family to be present at the wedding, her escorts were relatives of the groom's family. They were married women deemed lucky because of the number of male children they had borne.
民國以前，有教養的新娘子是喜怒不形於色的，她的真情實感，
The bride had only one sure ally on her wedding day. This ally was not a relative or a best friend, but a bridesmaid her parents had hired to give her protection. The bridesmaid was, by training, a professional talker; she said clever things and was able to churn out propitious jingles. She was a foil for the bride, and her chatter was the shield she created for her young mistress at the time it was most needed. Before the wedding, the bride would have had a cloistered existence in the women's quarters, and so it was natural that she should be reticent. She was not used to being viewed, much less to being the object of everyone's curiosity. And she was nervous in her anticipation of the wedding night and of her life ahead, which she had to face on her own.
新娘過門那天，身邊只有一個體己人。這體己人不是她的至親好友，
The women in the Chang household would talk about Lu Ying's wedding long after she was gone. They remembered the ditty the bridesmaid sang after Lu Ying and her husband were seated on their nuptial bed and the women guests had scattered coins and nuts all around the room to encourage fertility:
直到陸英去世後許久，她的婚禮還為張家女眷所津津樂道。
A little stick, red and glossy, I shall use to lift the bride's veil. If it lands on her bed, She shall have a house full of children. If it drops on the ground, She shall be buying land and fields.
小小秤桿紅溜溜，
我替新人挑蓋頭。
蓋頭落床，子孫滿堂；
蓋頭落地，買田置地。
我替新人挑蓋頭。
蓋頭落床，子孫滿堂；
蓋頭落地，買田置地。
Lu Ying had come all the way from Yang-chou, a vibrant commercial city by the Grand Canal. Her dowry traveled more than a hundred miles down the Yangtze, across the Kiangsu border to Wuhu in Anhwei province, and another eighty miles along the tributaries and by land before it reached Hofei. We don't know how many men guarded the bride's entourage, or whether these men were sent from Hofei or hired by the Lu family in Yang-chou. We also don't know whether bandits along the way had given them trouble. The precious cargo that accompanied them was like spots on a leopard, the Chinese would say, making them an easy target for predators.
揚州位於大運河邊，是個繁華的商業城市。陸英從揚州遠道而來，
The Changs' home province, Anhwei, had never been a safe place to travel in. Frequent flooding of the Yellow and the Huai Rivers, alternating with drought and plagues of locusts, had created severe poverty and an unstable environment in the north, in an area called Huai-pei. The people of Huai-pei did very little to prepare themselves for disasters or to try to change their circumstances. They would move to cities south of the Yangtze when things were bad and return home when conditions eased a little. They continued this pattern of life throughout much of the Ch'ing dynasty. The local gazetteers described them as weak and violent, lazy and contentious: "too lazy even to weed after they've sown their seeds and to prepare for irrigation works in case of flood and drought," yet "quick to congregate and compete for small gains." The people of other parts of Anhwei and of the neighboring Chekiang and Kiangsu provinces referred to them as troublemakers. To them, the people of Huai-pei seemed to be everywhere, and wherever they went, they were either pillaging or in need - bandits or beggars.
安徽這地方一向不平靖，旅客安全堪虞。黃河、淮河經常氾濫成災，
During the nineteenth century, parts of Shantung and Honan provinces and much of Anhwei were ravaged by the Nien bandits from Huai-pei. The Nien were at first involved in ordinary crimes: murder, plunder, extortion, kidnapping, and smuggling. In the 1850s, their activities escalated into a major insurrection against the state. In 1868, the Ch'ing government, with the help of the local Anhwei army, brought the Nien rebels under control, but banditry continued to be a way of life for some. As a result, most of the well-to-do families in rural Anhwei employed their own braves and protected their living quarters with walls and moats. Life was relatively safe within, but outside, brigands could descend, demanding money, goods, or a fee for safe passage; they could also seize victims and exact a ransom from their family. Even as recently as sixty years ago, when gentry women or their young daughters wanted to visit relatives ten or twenty miles away, they usually traveled on foot, not in sedan chairs, and they dressed simply, to look as if they were one family with the men hired to protect them.
十九世紀時，山東、
The period from 1905 to 1910 was difficult for nearly all the people of Anhwei, not just those of Huai-pei, and 1906, the year of Wu-ling's marriage, was a particularly bad year. Flood, drought, windstorm, and locusts arrived in turn. As many as forty counties suffered some form of natural disaster, and flooding visited over two-thirds of the province. Hunger drove people to robbery and looting. In the city of Hui-chou, for instance, peasants, working in groups, raided local grain shops. The most serious incidents, however, were reported around Wuhu: in April, a band of desperadoes foraged a shipment of rice as it was coming across the border from the east; and in November, thousands of starving peasants stormed into the residential compounds of the local gentry, taking food and whatever else they could get their hands on.
一九○五至一九一○年間（光緒三十一年至宣統二年），不只淮北，
Lu Ying and her family were traveling through Wuhu around the time of these incidents. The journey must have been very difficult and dangerous. What is puzzling is that the marriage should have taken place at all. Why did the Chang family want to go to the trouble of having Wu-ling marry a woman from Yang-chou when for over forty years they had been pairing their sons and daughters with the children of the Lius, T'angs, Chous, and Lis in their own county? Yang-chou was not only two hundred miles away and in a different province, but the people there spoke a different dialect. And why would the Lus agree to such an arrangement? They knew that to transport a dowry of a size appropriate for the match across such a long distance would be extremely risky.
陸英一家人約莫就在此時途經蕪湖。這趟旅程想必十分艱險。
We know that Chang Wu-ling's grandfather, Chang Shu-sheng, had also married a woman from a Lu family. And we know that Lu Ying's family was originally from Hofei; her family moved to Yang-chou sometime during the Ch'ing dynasty. It is possible that the two Lu families were related. There is, however, another explanation. According to the women of the Chang family, Lu Ying was not an ordinary woman. At the age of twenty-one, she was already known for her intelligence, her managerial skills, and her sense of appropriateness. Her older sister, less attractive and dull by comparison, was passed over as a possible marriage partner for Wu-ling.
我們知道，張武齡的祖父張樹聲也娶過一位陸姓女子。我們又知道，
In the old world, it was not only the bride's family that lost sleep thinking about their child's impending marriage; the groom's family, too, had their worries - about handing over the household responsibilities to a near stranger and about "the question of progeny," that is, whether the new daughter-in-law could produce sons. In the case of the Changs, the elders had to give extra consideration to Wu-ling's marriage because he was the heir to the primary descent line. Wu-ling's grandfather, Chang Shu-sheng, had eight younger brothers. Together they formed the nine branches of the Chang clan. Wu-ling was the heir to Chang Shu-sheng's branch. Even though he was adopted from the fifth branch, within the lineage organization he was considered the grandson of Chang Shu-sheng, and a descendent of the senior branch, the day he entered their door. His adoptive father, the oldest of Chang Shu-sheng's three sons, had no children with his principal wife and only a daughter with his concubine. He died at forty-nine, when Wu-ling was only eight. Wu-ling's adoptive mother was naturally anxious for him to begin producing heirs early, which also meant that his wife would have to be able to look after him - he was only seventeen at the time of his wedding - and to help him manage his enormous landholdings. Moreover, in 1906, the families of Chang Shu-sheng's sons were still living together; the men had all died sometime before, but their wives and concubines - five widows in all - were alive. Chang Wu-ling's wife would have to look after them as well, plus a large staff of accountants, nursemaids, servants, cooks, gatekeepers, and gardeners.
在舊社會裡，不僅嫁女之家想到吉期將近就輾轉難眠，
It was the custom in Hofei for the bride to be older than the groom. Lu Ying was four years older than her husband. Their two families were compatible in money and status, and her dowry reflected the seriousness with which her parents had treated her marriage. The women in the Chang family recalled that nothing was amiss in this abundant load: gold, silver, pearl, and jade, all the luxurious goods and household items imaginable; even the dustpan had a silver chain dangling from it. The servants also received lavish amounts of gift money from the bride's family when Lu Ying's brothers came to call three days after the wedding ceremony. By all accounts, Lu Ying's parents outdid themselves from beginning to end. Their splendid display of generosity seems to have pleased everyone in the groom's family. One could say that Lu Ying's grand send-off was her parents' last attempt to look after her. It was their way of making sure that she would begin her new life under the most favorable circumstances.
新娘比新郎年長，是合肥的風俗。陸英比她丈夫大四歲。
In the Chang family history, Lu Ying remains an elusive figure. She was the anchor of the household, an example for all, yet no one could describe her precisely. Her children could recall the feel of the house when she was alive; they say that she was the sole maker of its climate - harmonious and calm, without a trace of discontent. They remember the mood she created but not her person, not her words or her features, nothing exact. Lu Ying was what the eighteenth-century historian Chang Hsüeh-ch'eng would have called a "quiet woman." Her strength lay in her refraining, a holding back out of propriety and a reining in for balance and equilibrium. "[Quietness] is the finest appellation that can be given to a woman," Chang declared, "because it implies learning."
在張家家族史上，陸英像個神龍見首不見尾的人物。
During Chang Hsüeh-ch'eng's time, it was fashionable for men of letters to encourage women to write poetry and to help them have their works published. Chang called these men "shameless hypocrites" and their protégées "women of activity," and he characterized their venture as a grand delusion, men deluding women and women deluding themselves. The men were hypocrites, he wrote, because they disguised lust as appreciation. "The intentions are unspeakable. Alas! They think that they are praising a woman for her talent when the rest of the world knows that it's sympathy born out of lust." The women they spur on are "busy scribbling away even though what they say has no range, no more than a woman's 'private sorrows in spring and fall' and the sentiments of 'flowers flourish and fade.'" The women Chang Hsüeh-ch'eng respected were the "quiet women," women who knew when to desist.
在章學誠那時代，男性文人鼓勵婦女吟詩作賦、幫她們刊行作品，
The earliest reference to the "quiet woman" is found in the Classic of Odes, an anthology of poetry from two and half millennia ago. The first stanza of Ode 42 in "Airs of the State" reads: Lovely is the quiet woman. She was to await me at a corner of the wall. Loving and not seeing her, Scratch my head, pace up and down.
For centuries, commentators could not even agree on the character of this woman, whether she was virtuous or not. The poem says that the woman waits by the city wall. One commentator explains that she waits and does not appear to her lover because she feels that she is not ready: "She must wait until she is cultivated before letting herself become his wife." Another insists that the poem "describes a tryst" and that the woman must be morally lax because no respectable woman would wait by the city wall for a man. Over time the first reading became orthodox, and by Chang Hsüeh-ch'eng's day, the idea of a quiet woman had lost all its ambiguity.
Chang believed that the tradition of the quiet woman began more than twenty-five hundred years ago, in the Chou dynasty, when women worked as court historians and ritualists. Such women were restrained in speech and writing because what they said had to be fit for diplomacy. Reticence was, therefore, a reflection of their learning and proof of their integrity. But as rulers ceased appointing women to offices and as women withdrew more and more into the domestic world, few people understood what the ancients meant by learning for women, and even fewer appreciated the power of reticence. Chang wrote that any woman of his own time who showed some refinement and quickness and had some knowledge of literature considered herself an expert. She flashed her abilities and wore them like makeup, unaware that women once had their own learning and that this learning was rooted in the practice of rites. In Chang's view, these women took their limited talents too seriously, not realizing that writing poetry was no substitute for the profession women once had.
Continue...
Excerpted from Four Sisters Of Hofei by Annping Chin Copyright © 2002 by Annping Chin
Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
【基本資料｜序言 ｜書摘 1 婚禮 ｜ 書摘 2 生育 ｜書摘 3 擇木而棲 】
▼ 內容簡介
張家四姐妹，指的是蘇州合肥張家。出身名門，
▼ 作者簡介
金安平(Annping Chin)，1950年出生於台灣，
▼ 譯者簡介
鄭至慧，文字工作者。譯有《夢迴藻海》、《瓶中美人》、《
▼ 目錄
致謝
張家家族成員一覽
序言
第一章 婚禮
第二章 生育
第三章 擇木而棲
第四章 合肥精神
第五章 祖母
第六章 母親
第七章 父親
第八章 興學
第九章 保母列傳
第十章 元和
第十一章 允和
第十二章 兆和
第十三章 充和
關於資料來源
註釋
參考書目
***
漢語拼音之父107歲身體康健自稱“被上帝遺忘”(2012-6-2 10:56:34) 來自新民晚報
古往今來，學術界、文藝界乃至社會各界，都有一些被稱為大師的人。人們崇敬大師，但往往並不清楚大師“大”在何處。今年已經107歲的周有光的一生就很傳奇。他學術跨界，49歲轉行卻頗有建樹；他愛情美滿，娶了大名鼎鼎的九如巷張家四個女兒之一張允和；他筆耕不輟，106歲還出新書《朝聞道集》。周老說自己是“被上帝遺忘了的人”，接下來的日子，他說自己什麼都不做了，要喝著紅茶和蘋果泥，靜靜享受“被遺忘”的時光。
49歲時半路出家
中華人民共和國誕生時，56個民族有數十種方言，並且文盲佔了很大比例。要建設這樣一個國家，沒有統一的、能適應現代化需要的文字語言，是不可想像的。因此，文字改革問題很早就被置於國家工作日程的重要位置，並從全國范圍內網羅了許多專家學者來從事這項開創性工作。
1955年10月，為了進一步規範簡化漢字，提高認知率，中共中央決定召開全國文字改革會議，周恩來總理親自點名邀請精通中、英、法、日四國語言的周有光參加會議。會後，中國文字改革委員會副主任胡愈之跟周有光說：“你不要回去了，留在文改會工作吧。”周有光說：“我不行，我業餘搞文字研究，是外行。”胡愈之說：“這是一項新的工作，大家都是外行。”不久，周有光接到通知從上海調往北京。就這樣，中國經濟學界少了一位金融學家，而國家語言文字改革委員會多了一位委員、一位語言學家。
1906年1月13日，周有光出生於江蘇省常州青果堂唐氏八宅之一的禮和堂。幼時，有學養的祖母就喜歡用古詩詞熏陶周有光。 1923年，周有光中學畢業，成績優異，考上了上海聖約翰大學，主修經濟學，但對語言學的愛好讓他選修了語言學。他進的是教會學校，一進大學，就用英文打字機，用起來非常方便，而中文則只能用毛筆寫。彼時，周有光對語言學產生了濃厚興趣。
1927年至1948年，周有光任職於江蘇銀行和新華銀行，並由銀行派駐美國紐約。周有光在美國工作和學習期間，有幸面見愛因斯坦，這種經歷在今天看來，富有傳奇色彩。周有光說，“他非常隨便，穿的衣服都沒有我講究。”他對愛因斯坦的一段話記憶深刻：“一個人的一生到60歲為止，工作是13年，除了吃飯睡覺之外，業餘時間有17年。能不能成功，就看你怎麼利用你的業餘時間。”
作為漢語拼音方案的主要創制人之一，周有光提出口語化、音素化、拉丁化的基本原則，得到了語言學家們的認同。周有光主持制定的《漢語拼音方案》，自1958年2月全國人大批准後開始進入大陸每一所小學的課堂。 1982年，國際標準化組織認定漢語拼音方案為拼寫漢語的國際標準(ISO7098)。說起“漢語拼音之父”時，周老揮舞起他雪白的手帕連連擺手：“這個不敢當，這個不敢當。當年做拼音方案，主要是三個人，葉籟士、陸志韋他們兩人還有其他工作，我只是做得多一點而已。”
周老接著說：“我本來名字叫周耀，民國後，時興不取字了，只取名，並且時興取雙名，我就成了'周耀平'了。在省常州中學上學時，我和呂叔湘是同班同學，那時候與呂叔湘一樣對語文很感興趣，常常相互討論。1923年考入上海聖約翰大學時，主修經濟學。不過，大學裡有選修課，我就選修了語言學。後來也寫了幾篇語言文字方面的論文，但因為是語言學的外行，就不敢用本名發表，因為我原來名'耀'，自己起了個假名字'有光'，後來'假名'成了'筆名'，再後來'筆名'就取代了'真名'了。我現在是'周有光'替代了'周耀平'，'語言學家'替代了'經濟學家'，以假亂真，亂套了。”
在美國國會圖書館，如今既藏有經濟學家周有光的著作，也藏有語言學家周有光的著作。
“周百科”幸福一輩子
葉聖陶曾說：“九如巷張家的四個才女，誰娶了她們都會幸福一輩子。”1933年4月30日周有光與張允和結婚，照片背面是沈從文寫的“張家二姐作新娘，從文”。因為敬佩周有光的博學，連襟沈從文曾送他“周百科”外號。
“最後的閨秀”張允和被人形容為“年輕時她的美，怎麼想像也不會過分”，親友們用“俠肝義膽”來讚譽她，她卻稱自己是一個“標準的家庭婦女”。
張家原籍安徽合肥，可算當地名門望族。祖父張樹聲為晚清重臣、淮軍名將。父親張武齡在“五四”運動後，受到新思想的影響，於1921年變賣部分家產創辦了著名的“樂益女子中學”。張允和有六個兄弟、三個姊妹。四個姐妹中，大姐張元和嫁給崑曲名家顧傳玠，二姐張允和即為周有光的夫人，三姐張兆和的丈夫是作家沈從文，四妹張充和嫁給德裔美籍漢學家傅漢思。
張允和16歲時，暑假裡到周有光家玩就認識了周有光，那時他在大學裡唸書，而張允和正讀初中三年級。之後這個男孩就總去找她，這一次，周有光的浪頭衝破了張允和的石堤。他們一起到江邊散步，開始了甜蜜的愛情長征。他們在石堤上坐下來，兩人都緊張得沒有一句話。周有光拿出一本小書來，張允和看了一眼，心想：這個人真壞啊，拿了一本莎士比亞的書，英文本的，怕我不懂英文啊。書上面寫著一句話：我要在你的一吻中來洗清我的罪惡。莎士比亞的一句名言，是羅密歐對朱麗葉說的。儘管允和沒有讓有光達到在一吻中消除“我的罪惡”的目的，但允和對他留下了很好的印象。周有光在他的第一封情書裡還是擔憂地說：我很窮，怕不能給你幸福。張允和馬上回了一封十張紙的長信，所表達的只有一個意思，那就是幸福是要自己去創造的。對於有光，更令他鼓舞的是允和的父母思想開放，支持他們的自由戀愛。
1933年，兩個滿腦子新思想的年輕人終於舉行了婚禮。婚禮新式而簡單，來的人卻非常多。結婚一周年的那一天，允和生下了他們的第一個孩子小平，接著小平又有了妹妹，一家人的生活和和睦睦，平靜安詳。然而不久後，抗日戰爭爆發了，張允和與周有光帶著兩個孩子開始大逃亡的艱難歲月。六歲的女兒小禾不幸病死，兒子小平又被流彈打中，差一點喪命。
1998年，國際教育基金會評選中國百對恩愛夫妻，周有光、張允和成為入選者中年齡最大的一對。 “人家問我們，你們的生活為什麼能和諧呢？”周有光拿出白手帕，擦擦嘴角，笑瞇瞇地說：“古代講舉案齊眉，我們兩個上午喝茶、下午喝咖啡，都要碰碰杯子，我們叫舉杯齊眉。這個小動作好像是玩意兒，其實有道理：就是說夫婦不僅要有愛，還要有敬。要敬重對方，雙方才會和諧愉快。現在為什麼那麼多人離婚啊，一些人結了婚就不尊重對方了，就老吵架。家庭不愉快其實是很痛苦的。你下班回來，家庭愉快，就會得到很大安慰。”
老伴張允和在世時，兩人相敬如賓，據說一輩子沒吵過一次架。 “想不通的時候，你拐個彎就通了啊。”2002年8月，張允和仙逝，享年92歲。 “我們結婚70年，忽然老伴去世了，我不知道怎麼辦。慢慢地，隔了半年以後，人才穩定下來。我想到一個外國哲學家講過：個體的死亡，是群體進化的必要條件。這麼一想，我才安下心來，畢竟生死是自然規律。”
樂觀豁達的百歲老人
“上帝太忙，把我忘記了。”2012年1月13日，周有光先生迎來了107歲生日。 107歲的周老仍每日堅持博覽群書、筆耕不輟，每個月至少發表一篇文章。特別“潮”的是，他還在新浪網上開設了博客，人氣很旺，粉絲無數。 2011年上半年，一家出版社剛剛出版了周老的一本新書《拾貝集》，這本書，無疑是目前國內最高壽者的最新作品。
“仁者壽。”胸懷廣闊的周有光先生至今身體康健，生活簡單。他閱讀古今中外書刊，隨時筆記一聞一得，自得其樂。他對世界充滿好奇，新鮮事物都願意體會。 102歲的時候，他在親友的陪同下去郊區泡溫泉，對一個2歲的小朋友說：“我只比你大一百歲哩。”北京五號線地鐵開通不久，他坐著輪椅乘了一遍。
“中國有句老話，叫做長命百歲。100歲是人的生命極限，超過極限是有的，但那是例外，我自己一不小心已身處例外了。上帝太忙，把我給忘了……不叫我回去！”這位歷經晚清、北洋、國民政府和新中國四個時期的“四朝元老”風趣地笑言自己“四世同球”，原來他的孫女和重外孫現居美國，他隔天就用“伊妹兒”和他們通訊。
“有一次，我去醫院做檢查，我寫了97歲，醫生給我改成了79歲。又有一次，一個醫生問我長壽之道，我說'年輕時患過肺結核，患過憂鬱症。結婚的時候，算命先生說我們夫婦倆只能活到35歲。是醫學改變了我的壽命。'”難怪醫生自作主張，周有光老人除了耳背眼花，其敏捷的思維和健康的體態與真實年齡形成的反差的確令人驚嘆。醫生問我怎麼這樣健康，我認為最重要的是度量要放寬一點。 “老人每當寫文章累的時候，就會做一下他獨創的“象鼻子運動”扶著桌腳，晃晃頭、聳聳肩、扭扭屁股、伸伸腿……小小的運動鍛煉了全身，難怪他至今連牙齒還是“原裝”的。
周老謙遜地說：“我想健康最重要的就是生活有規律，同時胸襟開朗是重要的。健康有物質一方面，有精神一方面。”
就物質方面來講，周老的要求不高，主要強調生活有規律。他說：“我現在有'三不主義'。一不立遺囑，二不過生日，三不過年節。日常生活越來越簡單，生活需要也越來越少。飲食上很多葷菜不能吃，不吃油煎肉類，主要吃雞蛋、青菜、牛奶、豆腐四樣。但是牛奶和雞蛋都不能多吃，雞蛋一天一個。上下午各喝一杯紅茶。我現在的生活簡單：睡覺、吃飯、看書、寫文章。生活比較有規律，不亂吃東西，不抽煙，少喝酒，喝酒喝點啤酒。很少吃補品，人家送來的補品，我也不吃。以前一個醫生告訴我：大多數人不是餓死而是吃死的，亂吃東西不利於健康。”
就精神方面來講，周老非常重視涵養，首先強調胸襟要寬廣。他說：“許多人問我長壽之道，我想不出什麼道理，可是我相信不要生氣。因為外國一位哲學家說：'生氣是用別人的錯誤來懲罰自己。'這完全是對的。胸襟要寬大，在世界上許多事情不可能樣樣都順利的，吃虧就吃虧一點。佛教裡有一句話：'你對身外之物看得太重，你的精神就痛苦了。'”
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